I actually wrote this back in 2004 the day after we put Preston down. I planned on putting it here around Carlie's b-day but I forgot. Here it is now. I will put it here without fixing the mistakes. This was written through tear filled eyes. I still think we made the right decision. It is funny how we have one picture of Carlie with Preston when she was a couple of weeks old and she loves looking at it. She feels so bonded to him. Little girls are funny and precious!
4/12/2004
They gave me a receipt. Well they didn’t really give it to me cause I was too chicken to take him in. I had to have my dad do that. A 26 year old as scared as a little child and turning to dad for protection.
Preston died today. The guy who has been my best friend for 11 years. Preston is my dog. He went in to be put to sleep and all I got back was a receipt for $35. That is what his life surmounted to on paper I guess. I think sometimes we focus too much on what can be listed on paper. Can all the joy he brought our family be listed on paper? Can the tricks he learned to do be listed on paper? He learned those tricks to get love. He could have very easily just hurriedly eaten the food placed on his nose. He knew that would make me upset so he tried to listen to what was needed to keep me happy and do that. The decision was not easy. I could easily say off the cuff that he is an animal, just like a chicken or a cow and those die everyday and I couldn't care less. Well I lied. He was not some chicken raised up in a large group for purposes of eating. He was a dog, MY DOG, which loved and lived. He had many odd quirks and habits. He got excited when people came over, and not just for the small chance he would get some food. He got excited because he loved people. He loved the interaction with people. He would sniff other dogs and say hi but that was boring to him. He wanted the interaction only people could bring.
The day he came in to my life was special. A gift from a loving mother, a very concerned mom who knew the difference a dog can make in a boys life. I hope I remember that and have the same amount of patience as my mother when I see that need in my child. She brought him to my school and called me to the office as if I was in trouble. The purse starting moving and out he came. A little puppy full of life. That life energy never went out, I put it out. Sounds harsh I know. I didn’t put it out without good reason though. See as I stated earlier Preston loved people. People like my wife and my newborn child. See Preston loved too much. He wanted the baby to be cared for at all times. Anytime a peep was made he was there barking like crazy to have you love her and take care of her needs. That is the type of guy that he was. This type of behavior was not easy to live with when you have a wife and child that needs to sleep. Not to mention you need to sleep as well. He had burned his bridges elsewhere due to his nature to try to be the boss. Sometimes animals don’t understand the way humans are supposed to act. Even though they try, the animal instinct can find its way out sometimes. That is how they are born and programmed. Interesting that he tried so hard to overcome the animal instinct in him and yet you have humans who have to allow the Holy Ghost to leave their lives and turn into animals. That is for another discussion though. He was too old and weird to put with some unknowing family. Someone not already attached to him to put up with the crying and such. Someone who didn’t understand that the reason he didn’t eat unless you were there was because he loved you and wanted to share that with you. (Some people will say that dogs don’t really feel those things. I am going to ignore that for now and think what I want.) Since I didn’t want to wonder forever what happened to him I made the decision. The best part of all is that if he could talk I would think he would tell us that he understood why we had to do it. He understood how Carlie is a child of God and that he is just a dog. Well maybe he doesn’t really understand it, but I do. And that is why I got a receipt for my dog today.
